Oh hi there!
How are you doing? I hope you've had a really lovely week.
I'm such a nerd about this stuff - I have become obsessed with the 'unsaid'.
You know how we often enter into working relationships, friendships, and even casual interactions with silent expectations or assumptions?
More often than not, we 'assume' how someone will act, interpret our gestures, or respond to our efforts without ever actually discussing it with them.
For instance, if you’re naturally a 'fixer' or a 'saver' (ahem, not that I have any personal experience here AT ALL) you might jump in, solving problems, offering support and always going above and beyond what was ever asked for.
But then, what happens when, after all that, the other person isn’t as responsive or downright grateful as you expected? Yep, there it is - you're on a one way train to P'd-off City; feeling disappointed, frustrated, peeved and even next-level resentful!
But here’s the thing - they never actually asked us to step in! And, let's be honest, more than likely, they don't even know that we’re doing it!
So, what can we do about it? Well, I think the answer lies in two areas: firstly, understanding our own tendencies and what expectations we bring with us - and maybe taking different actions in the first place, not doing what we normally would! Or, alternatively, maybe being courageous enough to communicate these unspoken 'contracts' upfront.
By sharing our intentions and allowing others a chance to actually have some input, we give them the opportunity to understand and, ideally, agree to our expectations before they share their own.
So, are you a terror for the unspoken contract too? I'd love to know!
Have a beautiful week,
Cate x
Oh hi there!
How are you doing? I hope you've had a really lovely week.
I'm such a nerd about this stuff - I have become obsessed with the 'unsaid'.
You know how we often enter into working relationships, friendships, and even casual interactions with silent expectations or assumptions?
More often than not, we 'assume' how someone will act, interpret our gestures, or respond to our efforts without ever actually discussing it with them.
For instance, if you’re naturally a 'fixer' or a 'saver' (ahem, not that I have any personal experience here AT ALL) you might jump in, solving problems, offering support and always going above and beyond what was ever asked for.
But then, what happens when, after all that, the other person isn’t as responsive or downright grateful as you expected? Yep, there it is - you're on a one way train to P'd-off City; feeling disappointed, frustrated, peeved and even next-level resentful!
But here’s the thing - they never actually asked us to step in! And, let's be honest, more than likely, they don't even know that we’re doing it!
So, what can we do about it? Well, I think the answer lies in two areas: firstly, understanding our own tendencies and what expectations we bring with us - and maybe taking different actions in the first place, not doing what we normally would! Or, alternatively, maybe being courageous enough to communicate these unspoken 'contracts' upfront.
By sharing our intentions and allowing others a chance to actually have some input, we give them the opportunity to understand and, ideally, agree to our expectations before they share their own.
So, are you a terror for the unspoken contract too? I'd love to know!
Have a beautiful week,
Cate x
