Hey there,
I’m feeling better this week, thank goodness. I’ve also found myself in a more reflective headspace, and it’s got me thinking about this…
I used to think I was ambitious.
Fast-moving. On it. High standards.
The person who replies quickly, fixes things quickly, doesn’t let things drop.
From the outside, it looked like drive.
From the inside, it felt like… pressure.
I’ve been reading The Untethered Soul again recently, and it’s been the thing that’s really got me questioning this.
There’s a voice in your head.
Constant. Commenting. Directing. Pushing.
And most of us don’t realise:
We’re not choosing our actions.
We’re obeying that voice.
Because if you really stop and listen to it… it’s not calm.
It sounds like:
“Just reply now so it’s done”
“Sort it before it becomes a problem”
“Don’t leave that hanging”
“You’ll feel better once it’s finished”
And it works.
You do the thing.
You get the relief.
But only for a moment.
Because then it finds the next thing.
That’s not ambition.
That’s avoidance.
Avoidance of:
discomfort
uncertainty
things being unfinished
the feeling that something might go wrong
So we stay “on”.
Not because it’s strategic.
Not because it’s what the business actually needs.
But because, internally, it’s the fastest way to feel okay again.
And this is where it gets uncomfortable.
Because a lot of what we reward in high performers…
is actually just very sophisticated reactivity.
Quick responses
Always available
Constant output
Never dropping the ball
It looks like excellence.
But often, it’s just someone who doesn’t feel safe not responding.
Real ambition is slower than that.
It’s cleaner.
It can sit in:
not knowing
not fixing immediately
letting things breathe
choosing what actually matters
It doesn’t need the constant noise.
But to get there, you have to do something most people avoid:
You have to notice the voice…
and not obey it.
Because the edge isn’t in doing more.
It’s in being able to hear:
“just do it now, you’ll feel better”
…and choosing not to.
Most people never build that muscle.
Which is why they stay busy.
Stay needed.
Stay “high performing”.
And quietly… stay exhausted.
So a question for you:
What are you doing right now…
that isn’t actually ambition —
it’s just your way of avoiding feeling uncomfortable?
If you sit with that properly,
you’ll probably find your next level of leadership hiding in it.
Worth noticing what comes up for you here.
Have a lovely weekend,
Cate
Hey there,
I’m feeling better this week, thank goodness. I’ve also found myself in a more reflective headspace, and it’s got me thinking about this…
I used to think I was ambitious.
Fast-moving. On it. High standards.
The person who replies quickly, fixes things quickly, doesn’t let things drop.
From the outside, it looked like drive.
From the inside, it felt like… pressure.
I’ve been reading The Untethered Soul again recently, and it’s been the thing that’s really got me questioning this.
There’s a voice in your head.
Constant. Commenting. Directing. Pushing.
And most of us don’t realise:
We’re not choosing our actions.
We’re obeying that voice.
Because if you really stop and listen to it… it’s not calm.
It sounds like:
“Just reply now so it’s done”
“Sort it before it becomes a problem”
“Don’t leave that hanging”
“You’ll feel better once it’s finished”
And it works.
You do the thing.
You get the relief.
But only for a moment.
Because then it finds the next thing.
That’s not ambition.
That’s avoidance.
Avoidance of:
discomfort
uncertainty
things being unfinished
the feeling that something might go wrong
So we stay “on”.
Not because it’s strategic.
Not because it’s what the business actually needs.
But because, internally, it’s the fastest way to feel okay again.
And this is where it gets uncomfortable.
Because a lot of what we reward in high performers…
is actually just very sophisticated reactivity.
Quick responses
Always available
Constant output
Never dropping the ball
It looks like excellence.
But often, it’s just someone who doesn’t feel safe not responding.
Real ambition is slower than that.
It’s cleaner.
It can sit in:
not knowing
not fixing immediately
letting things breathe
choosing what actually matters
It doesn’t need the constant noise.
But to get there, you have to do something most people avoid:
You have to notice the voice…
and not obey it.
Because the edge isn’t in doing more.
It’s in being able to hear:
“just do it now, you’ll feel better”
…and choosing not to.
Most people never build that muscle.
Which is why they stay busy.
Stay needed.
Stay “high performing”.
And quietly… stay exhausted.
So a question for you:
What are you doing right now…
that isn’t actually ambition —
it’s just your way of avoiding feeling uncomfortable?
If you sit with that properly,
you’ll probably find your next level of leadership hiding in it.
Worth noticing what comes up for you here.
Have a lovely weekend,
Cate
