Hey there,
I hope you've had a really lovely week.
Me? Well, I have to say that my brain currently feels like a kaleidoscope!
You know when you were a kid and you'd twist that little tube, watching all the pieces fall into new patterns? That's exactly how I feel post my psychotherapy training this weekend.
Four days of having all the bricks in my brain thrown up in the air and landing... somewhere completely different. I mean, it's somewhat discombobulating to say the least!
We spent the whole weekend diving into 'the will' - and honestly, it's blown my tiny mind! In Psychosynthesis (the modality I'm studying), will isn't just about gritting your teeth and getting stuff done. It's much more nuanced than that.
The Five Faces of Will
1. First, there's strong will - that driving force that says 'I'm getting this done, come hell or high water.'
2. There's skillful will - when you add mastery and finesse to that determination.
3. There's good will - doing things for the greater good (whether that's for yourself or others).
4. There's transpersonal will - when you're aligned with your higher self.
5. And universal will - when you hand over your will to something bigger than you.
But here's the one that's been properly messing with my head: good will.
The Good Will Trap
Because I've realised I'm brilliant at doing things for others. World-class, actually. Client needs something urgently? On it. Team member struggling? Let me help. Friend in crisis? I'm there.
But doing things for myself? For my own joy?
Nope. Barely registers on the Richter scale!
I get such a dopamine hit from the urgent stuff. Every crisis managed, every fire put out, every urgent email answered - tick, tick, tick. Validation city, population: me.
But you know what I realised this weekend? I'm addicted to doing at the expense of being.
My wonderful Rach said something that hit me like a ton of bricks: "We're human beings, not human doings."
And there I was, the poster child for human doing.
The Urgent vs The Important
Family time? After this urgent client thing.
Dog walk in the sunshine? Once I've cleared my inbox.
That book I've been wanting to read? Maybe when things calm down.
(Spoiler: things never calm down when you're addicted to urgent).
The urgent always wins. The important - the joyful, the light, the actually-fills-my-soul stuff - gets pushed to tomorrow. And tomorrow. And tomorrow.
Here's what I'm sitting with: It's worked for me for so long. This pattern of putting work first, of getting my validation from being useful, needed, indispensable.
But maybe... maybe it's time for something different?
Where Change Actually Lives
Because awareness without will is just naval-gazing. And will without awareness is just blind force.
But awareness PLUS will? That's where real change happens.
So I'm curious - really curious - about where work sits on your priority list. Are you a work-first person too? Do you know why?
Or have you found a way to put the important before the urgent? To choose being over doing?
This Week's Experiment
If you're a fellow human doing who wants to practice being, here's what I'm trying this week:
1. One non-negotiable joy slot - Something that's just for me, scheduled like a client meeting
2. The pause before yes - When someone asks for help, I'm taking a breath and asking "Is this mine to do?"
3. Urgent audit - Writing down what felt urgent this week and checking next week if it actually was
And if you've already cracked this code... please, for the love of God, share your secrets.
Because this human doing is ready to try being a human being.
Even if it means my inbox isn't empty.
With all the love to you,
Cate x
Hey there,
I hope you've had a really lovely week.
Me? Well, I have to say that my brain currently feels like a kaleidoscope!
You know when you were a kid and you'd twist that little tube, watching all the pieces fall into new patterns? That's exactly how I feel post my psychotherapy training this weekend.
Four days of having all the bricks in my brain thrown up in the air and landing... somewhere completely different. I mean, it's somewhat discombobulating to say the least!
We spent the whole weekend diving into 'the will' - and honestly, it's blown my tiny mind! In Psychosynthesis (the modality I'm studying), will isn't just about gritting your teeth and getting stuff done. It's much more nuanced than that.
The Five Faces of Will
1. First, there's strong will - that driving force that says 'I'm getting this done, come hell or high water.'
2. There's skillful will - when you add mastery and finesse to that determination.
3. There's good will - doing things for the greater good (whether that's for yourself or others).
4. There's transpersonal will - when you're aligned with your higher self.
5. And universal will - when you hand over your will to something bigger than you.
But here's the one that's been properly messing with my head: good will.
The Good Will Trap
Because I've realised I'm brilliant at doing things for others. World-class, actually. Client needs something urgently? On it. Team member struggling? Let me help. Friend in crisis? I'm there.
But doing things for myself? For my own joy?
Nope. Barely registers on the Richter scale!
I get such a dopamine hit from the urgent stuff. Every crisis managed, every fire put out, every urgent email answered - tick, tick, tick. Validation city, population: me.
But you know what I realised this weekend? I'm addicted to doing at the expense of being.
My wonderful Rach said something that hit me like a ton of bricks: "We're human beings, not human doings."
And there I was, the poster child for human doing.
The Urgent vs The Important
Family time? After this urgent client thing.
Dog walk in the sunshine? Once I've cleared my inbox.
That book I've been wanting to read? Maybe when things calm down.
(Spoiler: things never calm down when you're addicted to urgent).
The urgent always wins. The important - the joyful, the light, the actually-fills-my-soul stuff - gets pushed to tomorrow. And tomorrow. And tomorrow.
Here's what I'm sitting with: It's worked for me for so long. This pattern of putting work first, of getting my validation from being useful, needed, indispensable.
But maybe... maybe it's time for something different?
Where Change Actually Lives
Because awareness without will is just naval-gazing. And will without awareness is just blind force.
But awareness PLUS will? That's where real change happens.
So I'm curious - really curious - about where work sits on your priority list. Are you a work-first person too? Do you know why?
Or have you found a way to put the important before the urgent? To choose being over doing?
This Week's Experiment
If you're a fellow human doing who wants to practice being, here's what I'm trying this week:
1. One non-negotiable joy slot - Something that's just for me, scheduled like a client meeting
2. The pause before yes - When someone asks for help, I'm taking a breath and asking "Is this mine to do?"
3. Urgent audit - Writing down what felt urgent this week and checking next week if it actually was
And if you've already cracked this code... please, for the love of God, share your secrets.
Because this human doing is ready to try being a human being.
Even if it means my inbox isn't empty.
With all the love to you,
Cate x
