Hey gang,
I wanted to share something that came up in a conversation last week and has really stayed with me.
I was on a call with a leader and they said,
“I reckon about half the things landing with me or HR could probably be handled by our managers, but they aren’t.”
Not because their managers aren’t capable.
Not because they don’t care.
But because, in the moments that matter, confidence drops.
And when confidence drops, a few familiar patterns tend to show up:
• conversations get delayed
• decisions get pushed upwards
• senior leaders quietly step in to steady things
If you lead people, or support those who do, you’ve likely seen this play out before.
What’s interesting is that when we slow it down, these aren’t usually skills gaps.
Most managers know what a good conversation looks like.
They’ve done the training.
They’ve read the guidance.
The wobble tends to happen under pressure.
When emotions are high.
When the stakes feel personal.
When the outcome feels uncertain.
That’s often when managers default to avoidance, escalation, or over-checking, not because they want to, but because their nervous system is trying to keep them safe.
Something practical to try...
Next time something lands with you that could have been handled one level down, pause before fixing it.
Instead, try asking:
“What made this one feel hard to handle on your own?”
Not:
• why didn’t you deal with this
• what should you have done differently
But genuine curiosity about the moment they got stuck.
You’ll often hear things like:
• “I didn’t want to make it worse.”
• “I wasn’t sure how they’d react.”
• “I thought I needed sign-off.”
That answer tells you far more than any framework ever could.
Because once you understand where confidence drops, you can help managers build judgement, not just knowledge, so conversations happen earlier, decisions stay at the right level, and less ends up escalating upwards.
That’s usually when leaders notice the shift:
fewer fires
more ownership
and a bit more breathing room at the top
Not because people are working harder, but because they’re trusting themselves more.
Have a great rest of your day,
Cate
Hey gang,
I wanted to share something that came up in a conversation last week and has really stayed with me.
I was on a call with a leader and they said,
“I reckon about half the things landing with me or HR could probably be handled by our managers, but they aren’t.”
Not because their managers aren’t capable.
Not because they don’t care.
But because, in the moments that matter, confidence drops.
And when confidence drops, a few familiar patterns tend to show up:
• conversations get delayed
• decisions get pushed upwards
• senior leaders quietly step in to steady things
If you lead people, or support those who do, you’ve likely seen this play out before.
What’s interesting is that when we slow it down, these aren’t usually skills gaps.
Most managers know what a good conversation looks like.
They’ve done the training.
They’ve read the guidance.
The wobble tends to happen under pressure.
When emotions are high.
When the stakes feel personal.
When the outcome feels uncertain.
That’s often when managers default to avoidance, escalation, or over-checking, not because they want to, but because their nervous system is trying to keep them safe.
Something practical to try...
Next time something lands with you that could have been handled one level down, pause before fixing it.
Instead, try asking:
“What made this one feel hard to handle on your own?”
Not:
• why didn’t you deal with this
• what should you have done differently
But genuine curiosity about the moment they got stuck.
You’ll often hear things like:
• “I didn’t want to make it worse.”
• “I wasn’t sure how they’d react.”
• “I thought I needed sign-off.”
That answer tells you far more than any framework ever could.
Because once you understand where confidence drops, you can help managers build judgement, not just knowledge, so conversations happen earlier, decisions stay at the right level, and less ends up escalating upwards.
That’s usually when leaders notice the shift:
fewer fires
more ownership
and a bit more breathing room at the top
Not because people are working harder, but because they’re trusting themselves more.
Have a great rest of your day,
Cate
