Hey there friends,
I don’t know about you, but this week I’ve been thinking about how the smallest moments can completely shift how we see things or remind us that what we’re doing really matters.
You know those moments that give you a little jolt of joy and make you smile for the rest of the day?
I had one of those this week.
I was on an exit coaching session with one of the managers from the last cohort of a programme I’ve been running. She logged on, grinning, and said:
“Cate, it actually worked!”
I wasn’t expecting that start, but what came next made my week. Let me explain...
I’m obsessed with communication. Like, truly obsessed. Because it sits at the heart of everything: how we connect, collaborate, lead, and live.
It builds relationships and it breaks them just as quickly. And more often than not, it’s the conversations that don’t happen that cause the greatest problems.
But here’s the thing - we’re all so quick to make assumptions, to defend our view, to jump in with our side of the story. We treat conversations like battles to be won, not bridges to be built.
In my workshops, I talk about this all the time, re-framing communication as another step in building a relationship, not an argument you’re trying to win.
And this manager had clearly taken that to heart.
“The American office said no to our proposal,” she told me. “Normally, I’d have fired back an email listing all the reasons why they were wrong. But I remembered what you said. So I asked if we could jump on a call so I could understand their perspective better.”
Thirty minutes later, she understood everything: their constraints, their priorities, why they’d said no. And together, they found a completely different approach that worked for both teams.
“It’s not just changed this campaign,” she said. “It’s changed how we’ll work together in future.”
Honestly? My response was, “OMG, I could actually cry.” Because this is what happens when we stop trying to win and start trying to understand.
Here’s what she did differently and what we can all take into next week:
1. Get curious before you get defensive
“Help me understand” beats “Actually, you’re wrong” every single time.
2. Pick up the phone
Email tennis creates more problems than it solves, especially across time zones and countries.
3. Listen for what’s underneath
The “no” is rarely about what’s being said. It’s about something that’s not being met.
4. Build the relationship first
When trust exists, even the hard conversations become easier.
5. Remember you’re on the same team
You’re not adversaries. You’re colleagues trying to achieve something together.
The American office didn’t change their mind because my client argued better. They changed their mind because she changed her approach, and now they’re building something brilliant together.
So, as you wrap up the week and maybe reflect on the conversations you’ve had or the ones you’ve avoided, take a moment to pause before reacting next time.
Get curious.
Listen.
It works. It really works.
Have a lovely week,
Cate x
Hey there friends,
I don’t know about you, but this week I’ve been thinking about how the smallest moments can completely shift how we see things or remind us that what we’re doing really matters.
You know those moments that give you a little jolt of joy and make you smile for the rest of the day?
I had one of those this week.
I was on an exit coaching session with one of the managers from the last cohort of a programme I’ve been running. She logged on, grinning, and said:
“Cate, it actually worked!”
I wasn’t expecting that start, but what came next made my week. Let me explain...
I’m obsessed with communication. Like, truly obsessed. Because it sits at the heart of everything: how we connect, collaborate, lead, and live.
It builds relationships and it breaks them just as quickly. And more often than not, it’s the conversations that don’t happen that cause the greatest problems.
But here’s the thing - we’re all so quick to make assumptions, to defend our view, to jump in with our side of the story. We treat conversations like battles to be won, not bridges to be built.
In my workshops, I talk about this all the time, re-framing communication as another step in building a relationship, not an argument you’re trying to win.
And this manager had clearly taken that to heart.
“The American office said no to our proposal,” she told me. “Normally, I’d have fired back an email listing all the reasons why they were wrong. But I remembered what you said. So I asked if we could jump on a call so I could understand their perspective better.”
Thirty minutes later, she understood everything: their constraints, their priorities, why they’d said no. And together, they found a completely different approach that worked for both teams.
“It’s not just changed this campaign,” she said. “It’s changed how we’ll work together in future.”
Honestly? My response was, “OMG, I could actually cry.” Because this is what happens when we stop trying to win and start trying to understand.
Here’s what she did differently and what we can all take into next week:
1. Get curious before you get defensive
“Help me understand” beats “Actually, you’re wrong” every single time.
2. Pick up the phone
Email tennis creates more problems than it solves, especially across time zones and countries.
3. Listen for what’s underneath
The “no” is rarely about what’s being said. It’s about something that’s not being met.
4. Build the relationship first
When trust exists, even the hard conversations become easier.
5. Remember you’re on the same team
You’re not adversaries. You’re colleagues trying to achieve something together.
The American office didn’t change their mind because my client argued better. They changed their mind because she changed her approach, and now they’re building something brilliant together.
So, as you wrap up the week and maybe reflect on the conversations you’ve had or the ones you’ve avoided, take a moment to pause before reacting next time.
Get curious.
Listen.
It works. It really works.
Have a lovely week,
Cate x
